The Proposal

Directed by Anne Fletcher. Written by Pete Chiarelle. Starring Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty White.

Touchstone Pictures - 2009

Two Stars of Review!

I chose The Proposal because I've been watching so many low budget horror films lately (What can I say? They get me the most hits.) that I wanted something that was exactly the opposite. I can't say I was happy with my choice, but at least there was no profanity and gore.

As your typical romantic comedy The Proposal does everything you would expect and nothing more. Every moment that Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are on screen together is funny and engaging, but the majority of the time Bullock is dragged through a series of increasingly lame gags, some of which involve eagles and crotches, but, sadly, not eagle crotches.

Julie and Julia

Directed by Nora Ephron. Written by Julia Powell and Nora Ephron. Starring Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, and Stanley Tucci.

Columbia Pictures - 2009

Three Stars of Review!

Julie & Julia is the mostly pleasant story about two very pleasant people who love food. There isn't a lot to say here other than if you're into vittles, and looking for something non offensive and enjoyable then you've found the perfect movie. My only complaint is that I would have rather watched two separate films about these women instead of just one.

Swiri

Written and Directed by Je-gyu Kang. Starring Kang-ho Song, Min-sik Choi, and Yunjin Kim.

Kang Je-Kyu Co. Ltd. - 1999

Three Stars of Review!

Bullets, bullets, and more bullets! People exploding, legs being shot off, and bullets! This homage to 80's Hollywood action was the biggest budget film to come out of Korea at the time, and it's inventive and silly enough to hold your attention. It doesn't do anything that you haven't seen before, but it does it all well, and offers up enough plot that you'll want to stick with it to the end. Fans of Korean cinema will note the actors who starred in The Host and Old Boy. Not to mention Yunjin Kim of Lost fame. Bullets!

2012: Science or Superstition

Directed by Nimrod Erez. Written By Garry Baddeley.

Disinformation Company - 2009

One Star of Review!

For a documentary titled “Science or Superstition” there's a curious lack of science. The only two people with actual doctorates are a psychologist (who turns out to be an anti-humanist, new age crank), and an astronomer who is the only skeptic in the entire film ( Go figure. The only actual scientist is the skeptic). Every one else is an obscure author, and what little “evidence” that gets presented in favor of the 2012 phenomenon can be obliterated by a quick Google search. The only thing this documentary does is indirectly prove that scientists can be just as full of shit as anybody else.

No Impact Man: The Documentary

Directed by Laura Gabbert and Justin Schein.

Eden Wurmfeld Films - 2009

Two Stars of Review!

Let's set aside the fact that the Beavan/Conlins' (Yes, the husband and wife have separate last names) are shallow, tedious, and self obsessed. Let's also set aside the fact that Collin Beavan basically admits on more than three occasions that he's in it for the fame, or that having 24 hour, year long media attention, constant TV appearances, and a documentary film crew following you around would cause your carbon foot print to be a thousand times that of the average person no matter what you did to off set it. Let's even ignore the constant contradictions, shallow thinking, and the fact that the entire “experiment” is an anti-intellectual exercise that ignores everything from history to basic logic. What are you left with? A documentary about the shear pleasure of watching two people who are so passive aggressive that even the most simple conversations are indirect and riddled with manipulation. One star off for the film makers constantly throwing manipulative imagery in your face.

Pig Hunt

Directed by James Isaac. Written by Robert Mailer Anderson and Zack Anderson. Starring Travis Aaron Wade, Tina Huang, and Les Claypool.

Pig Hunt Productions - 2008

Two Stars of Review!

There are two things I would not recommend concerning Pig Hunt: 1) Don't say the name out loud ten times fast in polite company and 2) Don't watch Pig Hunt. You see, one day I heard that Less Claypool was going to be in a movie. I rushed to the net to watch the trailer, but what I saw caused me to have to fight not to put my own eyes out. Fortunately I can report that Pig Hunt is far better than that trailer, however, I also must report that Pig Hunt is not a good movie.

What we have here is a film of the “everything and the kitchen sink” variety. You've got gore, massive amounts of profanity, nudity, girl on girl action, homicidal rednecks, drug use, mockery of the Christian religion, a ten foot tall three thousand pound pig that somehow manages to constantly sneak up on people without making any noise, and an anti-war message as subtle as... well, the rest of the movie. Not to mention Less Claypool who couldn't convincingly deliver the three short lines he was given.

There are some truly intense moments to be found, including a sequence involving actual bore hunting, but everything else outside of these moments is so aggressively stupid that it might cause your faith in humanity to wain just a little. Sure, some of it is intended to make you laugh, but even those moments are played so straight that they feel completely out of place. And I know it's not unique to this film, but is it too much to ask for a horror flick not populated with characters that make me want to murder them?

R.O.T.: Renunion of Terror

Directed by Michael Hodffman Jr. Written by Bill Cassinelli and Michael Hoffman Jr. Starring Christian Anderson, Alvie Baker, and Monique Barajas.

Disruptive Media - 2008

Two Stars of Review!

With a name like Reunion of Terror you know walking in that you're not going to be watching an intense and gripping thriller (or even a horror movie that's scary for that matter), but as micro-budget kill flicks go this one stands above the others I've seen recently. For starters the film doesn't look like it was shot on a cell phone. There's actual lighting and effective uses of sound, the entire cast at least manages to reach some loose approximation to acting, and the director shows genuine talent.

Unfortunately just about every shot is ripped from better films. At first it feels like a smart move, but it's so consistent and obvious that eventually I ended up rolling my eyes every few minutes. Add in the fact that the lead characters are some of the most obnoxious I've ever seen in a horror film, and you've got a recipe for extreme irritation. Of course there is boobs and gore if you're into that sort of thing.